After a night of Las Vegas debauchery, a guy groggily wakes up to find a scantily dressed girl next to him in bed. On the nightstand, he sees what looks like a wedding photograph from one of the strip’s wedding chapels. Hastily putting on his glasses he covers his mouth in shock because he realizes he’s the one in the picture.
Although the woman’s face is partially covered, he notices the cheap wedding ring onto her finger. He spots an open purse. He rummages through her purse and he finds her pocket.
And before he shuts her bag he finds a wide-ruled paper written in crayon beginning with Dear Mommy. The now-sober man realizes not only is he a new husband, but he is also a brand new stepdad.
How To Do It
When a couple dates, they make a connection and fall in love before deciding to get married. In precisely the same manner, if there is a child involved and your relationship is going toward the altar you need to begin courting your future stepchild. With the objective of establishing a connection and developing a relationship before proposing marriage.
Creating a relationship with a prospective stepchild is much easier and less stressful for all concerned when a spouse is still thought of as a parent’s boyfriend or girlfriend than it’s when you become a stepparent. If you currently have children your partner should know and be able to embrace the fact, you come as a package deal.
Don’t Be Santa
A frequent mistake made by many stepparents-to-be is to extend their fiancé’s kids with gifts in an attempt to buy their affections. The first issue is children know when someone is trying to buy their love. They are savvy enough to not fall for the bait.
The second issue is the child might begin to expect gifts from you all the time and unless you are Daddy Warbucks, this will eventually put a strain on your finances.
The affection and trust of a stepchild come with taking time and effort to develop a real relationship with them – not from trying to push it on them.
Among the best ways to connect with a new stepchild is to have an interest in what interests them. If a child isn’t open about what they enjoy, a conversation with the biological parent may provide a starting point. If a stepchild is interested in animals, a trip to the zoo might provide a wonderful opportunity for bonding.
Older children can be more difficult to pin down and there are fewer chances to bond together. Offering to help with homework or taking an interest in their favorite video game might not be the most powerful of beginnings to a connection, but it is a beginning.
Involve the Child in Your Interests
While you’re taking an interest in your future stepchild’s interests, you can also involve your stepchild in your interests. A child already knows their biological parents and has had lots of opportunities to get involved with them and their interests. Among the easiest ways to allow a new stepchild into the life of their potential or new stepparent is to allow them to get involved in their interests.
For example, if the stepmom-to-be is part of a bowling match, the kids may not mind going down to the bowling alley and get to watch or even take part in the game. At the exact same time, it’s important to make sure the stepchild has to spend time with their biological parent.
In shared custody, your stepchildren will only receive a limited amount of time to spend with each of their biological parents. You should help make sure your stepchild keeps a healthy relationship with their biological mother and father.
The best gift you can offer your new stepchild is time. Remember your stepchild is grieving the loss of the nuclear family. It will take time for them to get used to the fact their biological parents are no longer residing in the same home.
It may take more time for them to accept one or both of their parents have found someone else to fall in love with. It will take at least a couple years prior to a stepparent can actually build what could be considered a healthy relationship with their stepchildren. This may be made easier if the future stepparent starts to connect with the child prior to the wedding.